To Forgive
by NitrogenFixation
Summary: A father is a man that you love unconditionally, look up to, and ask advice from - a dad is a man that you forgive, no matter how often he messes up. Ryou knows this. Yuugi's still figuring it out. / Happy Father's Day. Dedicated, actually, to my mother.


**To Forgive**  
><em>by NitrogenFixation<em>

Ryou hadn't heard from his friends since Friday.

That was all he could think about, really - and as he sat in his apartment, alone, the TV playing in the background, he tried to ignore the slight but constant throb of loneliness. It was a Sunday - quiet, calm, and usually relaxing. He wouldn't mind being alone quite as much, but for the absence of his only living relative - his father, Bakura Shinji, off somewhere in the world, exploring some tomb or another - on this particular Sunday.

He planned to call his father a bit later in the day, but still, he wished he could celebrate that he still _had_ his father _with_ the man - he wondered, absently, if the man was even truly _his_ father anymore. Shinji paid the bills, sent him biweekly emails, and hugged him when he walked into the house, but never looked him in the eye and _claimed_ him as _his_ son.

It hurt. It really, truly hurt. Ryou always found himself looking past the man - into the distance, at the wall, at the ground. Anywhere but his eyes. It hurt far too much.

The white-haired boy sighed in agitation, shaking off the feelings as he stood and went into his foyer to prepare to go out - it was a pleasant day, and he had no reason to waste it in his lonely little household. Despite his retreat, the thoughts trailed after him stubbornly.

As if of their own free will, his eyes focused on the photograph of his family from years before - himself, Amane, his mother, and his father. Smiling. Happy. He and Amane were clinging to their father's legs, their mother affectionately looking on. His father was laughing and smiling, his bright green eyes seeming to glow with joy as he looked down at his kids.

He missed that. He missed his mother, his gentle, kind caretaker. He missed Amane, his constant companion and partner in crime, as well as his little sister to protect and cherish. He missed his father - his happy, kind, _loving_ father, the one who would look him in the eye and _see_ his loneliness, the one who would comfort him with a tenderness that didn't come easily.

He missed his _family_.

But it had been a long time since his father had looked him in the eye, and he had grown accustom to the weight of loneliness.

An abrupt rapping drew him out of his thoughts - he realized he'd been staring at the picture for a good few minutes. Shaking slightly, he reached out and flipped the picture face-down, unwilling to spend his day staring at it. His hand rested there for a moment before he turned to the door.

He didn't think to look through the peephole before opening it, and so was shocked when he found familiar amethyst eyes looking back at him.

"Yuugi," he greeted, surprised. He took a moment to observe the slight, miserable smile his friend gave him before standing aside. "Come in here, please! What's the matter? Is something wrong?" he said, recovering from his surprise quickly and immediately becoming concerned. Yuugi wasn't the sort to just drop in without notice, particularly on a day like this. Ryou supposed that Yuugi knew he'd be alone, since he'd already told him Friday that he wasn't expecting his father home for the holiday, but even so, the short boy would be inclined to give warning of his visit under normal circumstances. Thus, these were not normal circumstances.

He remembered that Yuugi had said they were expecting his father home for the weekend, and wondered if that had something to do with it.

"I just..." The short boy's voice cracked, as if he'd been crying. He paused and coughed softly. "I was on a walk, and I..." He stumbled over the words, then stopped altogether and looked at Ryou helplessly. He had no good explanation.

"...Did your father not make it home?" Ryou prompted softly, not entirely willing to broach the subject. Yuugi's eyes looked suspiciously bright, and he looked at the ground as he shook his head slowly.

"He didn't," he confirmed, his voice hoarse.

Ryou didn't want to watch his friend cry. Instead, he hugged him.

Though he couldn't say he'd ever _hugged_ Yuugi before, it felt like the only thing he could do. Yuugi responded by gripping his friend like a lifeline. Ryou could feel his shirt becoming soaked with tears, and gently guided the smaller boy to the living room. He absently realized that the TV was still on.

"He _promised _he'd come home," rasped Yuugi quietly after a moment, seated by Ryou on the couch. Ryou had released him and Yuugi had immediately buried his face in his hands. He was speaking rapidly, as if trying to get the words out before he broke down. "He called yesterday morning to say he couldn't get here until this morning...but he called and told Grandpa he has to work -" The boy paused and held his breath, clearly trying not to cry further.

As far as Ryou knew, Mutou Hakado was a businessman, but the boy only knew his father from a handful of years when his father worked locally. The man had been away nearly constantly since Yuugi was six. Yuugi's mother had divorced him when Yuugi was ten. Having little obligation to his son, the man only thought to show up on rare occasion, and often cancelled planned visits. Ryou had seen Yuugi break around the edges before when Hakado felt he was too busy for his son. The only time he'd glimpsed a tear was when the call came while he and the others were at the game shop, celebrating Yuugi's birthday a little early. Hakado had told him that he was too busy to make it by the next day.

Yuugi had spent most of that night barely holding himself together.

"My fath-" Ryou cut himself off, frowning slightly as he tried to figure out how to speak. Carefully, he continued, "I understand a little. My father hasn't been in the country this year." It was June. "He...tells me that he's busy, and that he would be here if he could, but I wonder about that."

It wasn't the same, and Ryou knew it. Shinji was a broken man who was running from his past. Hakado was a detached man who was shirking his teenage son - a boy who desperately loved and needed him - in favor of himself. Both were selfish reasons, but Ryou wasn't sure he could deal with having a father who _truly_ refused to love him in the way that Hakado rejected Yuugi.

"Thank you," Yuugi whispered hoarsely after a moment. Ryou stared studiously at the coffee table as he heard Yuugi shift to face him. "...I know he really is busy," the small boy ventured after a moment. Ryou narrowed his eyes.

"You know that's no excuse, Yuugi," he answered gently. "He hasn't taken a vacation to visit you since I met you," he added, bitter for his friend's sake.

"I know, Ryou, but _what can I do_?" Ryou hesitated as his friend's voice broke. "I - I can't do _anything _but try to believe that he _would _be here i-if he _could_..."

Ryou was quiet for a moment. Yuugi had a good point. It was either accept that his father felt that there was no room in his life for him, or believe that he was innocent of that, and was genuinely unable to be a part of his life.

If it were Ryou, he guessed he'd go with the second one. At least Ryou's father made somewhat of an effort, if only out of guilt - and there was always _room _for him. There was just never enough.

"...I don't know, Yuugi," he admitted. He also guessed, though, that Yuugi would not allow him to live in such a manner if their roles were reversed. "I don't know, but I know that you can't lie to yourself."

He heard a muffled sob, and ignored it, though his heart ached.

"I don't understand _why_..." Yuugi whispered after a pause. "Did he...not _want_ a son? Mom says he used to be so loving...I _remember_, he used to be so _loving_..." He seemed to choke up too much to speak at that point. Ryou tried not to look at him.

Neither spoke for a while.

"...I had a sister," Ryou finally began, the words seeming to string together at their own accord. "A mother. A father. A loving home." He paused with a slight, amused smile. "It sounds so cliche, but we were happy - a loving family."

He stopped for a moment, not sure he could continue. It was at least a few minutes before Yuugi finally prompted him.

"What happened?" he whispered softly, his voice a harsh rasp from crying.

"Car crash," Ryou muttered, his voice a little mechanical as his eyes filled with unbidden tears. "I was seven. My mother d-" He stopped for a moment. "...died on impact." His voice broke, despite the robotic tone. "Amane - my sister...was in the hospital for three days before she died."

He stopped. Yuugi didn't say anything this time. Finally, after a good two minutes of silence, he felt collected enough to speak again.

"My father stopped looking at me then. I think...I think that's why he doesn't come home very much – he doesn't want to remember. It's not right, I know that, but I also know...I also know that he doesn't think about it." He sighed. "I just...forgive him, because he's the only father I have."

Yuugi said nothing for a bit.

"...It's selfish of me, isn't it?" he finally remarked, half-absently. Ryou glanced at him - he had composed himself enough to speak clearly. The white-haired teen looked at the TV, quietly playing some old TV show.

"What is?"

"To expect him to make room in his life for me."

"No!" Ryou exclaimed, shocked and alarmed. He quieted and calmed his tone. "No. Yuugi, you love him. You _love_ your father. You want him to _be_ there - likewise, you want to be there for _him. _You just...He hasn't accepted it," he continued.

"But it _is_," Yuugi insisted quietly. "I want him to go out of his way for _me_. He has no obligation -"

"Yes, he _does_. He is your _father_. He's supposed to be there for you." Ryou's tone was stern - severe, even. He softened a little as Yuugi said nothing, and refrained from speaking for a while.

After a minute or so, he looked back at his friend. To his shock and dismay, Yuugi was - softly, silently - crying. He hesitated, but moved over and wrapped an arm around the vulnerable boy.

"_Why_, Ryou?" he half-sobbed, leaning into the touch even as he curled up like a small, emotionally injured child - like the hurting boy he was. "I don't _understand_..."

"I don't, either," Ryou repeated. "I _don't _know. I wish I did." His own voice was shaking. It was a question he'd asked himself often over the years. "It's never gotten any easier. I don't think it's going to. I don't think we'll ever understand."

"What can I do?" Yuugi whispered brokenly. Ryou tightened his grip around the crying boy's shoulders, knowing that the show of concerned affection was a comfort to them both.

"Forgive him." The words were a rasping murmur, and he felt like crying himself. "By God, forgive them."

* * *

><p>"<em>Shinji" and "Hakado":<em> Random Japanese names. Shinji has nothing to do with THAT Shinji. Hakado has nothing to do with any character that might share his name with that I don't know about (I don't even think Hakado is an _actual_Japanese name – I'm pretty sure I was thinking of Hakaido, but I like Hakado, so I'm keeping it).

**A/N:** There was a quote I wanted to work in, but it didn't quite fit anywhere – something my mother told my father once. "I can't have the relationship I want to have with someone – I can only have the relationship that I have." It's something that has heavily impacted my thinking – it's something that I think about every time an unfriendly word passes between myself and someone else. I can't change them, I can only change myself. I can love them. I can forgive them. I can be content with what I _do _have, as much as it may tear me up inside. I suppose Ryou's "I forgive him because he's the only father I have" sort of is derived from it, but it really didn't fit anywhere.

Anyway. I realize it's somewhat of an awkward situation, and I'm sure that Ryou will reflect on that fact, but while your friend is sitting there, crying, hurting, is not the time to be considering the oddness of a situation and how it came about.

Kind of an angsty piece. I'd like to write a happier, fluffier one, but I didn't feel like happiness and fluff when I wrote it, so here's my shameless father's day oneshot. I was going to continue it up until Yuugi left, but it felt like it ended there.

This is also my piece for Meeps's pairing challenge from dA. We were to take the YGO master shipping list, use a random number picker, and pick three numbers; the lines corresponding to those numbers (each pairing is on a separate line) would have the pairings we would have to write. One of mine was heartshipping, something that I love for friendship fics (so very lucky of me). I actually was going to do another piece for it, but this kills two birds with one stone.

A link to the challenge will be on my profile if anyone else wants to participate. It's a good way to put yourself outside your boundaries - it was originally for art, but I can't draw to save my life, so whatever. :P

Did anyone catch the way in which I made Ryou like his father without him realizing it? Let me know if you did.

Most importantly, happy father's day, especially to my papa (who won't actually be reading this, but it's the principle that counts), who is the best dad ever and I don't care what anyone has to say about it.

- _Nitro_


End file.
